Remembering Dad....

I've procrastinated all day. Well, not really....just here on the blog. I had planned on coming here and doing this great entry to remember Dad. Since today would have been my parents' 41st anniversary I thought it would be nice to say something about it....

I found it harder than I thought and am just now sitting down to type.

Yesterday was rough. I guess it was the day all my emotions came to a head and I couldn't hold it in anymore. I do that sometimes when I think of Dad. It's usually at the weirdest moments during the day too. I remember last year Dad had just come home form the hospital in time to share the day with Mom. He had had his first round of interleukin and was so sick. I remember feeling relieved that he was home and so proud to have parents that had a relationship that could span over so many years.

I know Mom spent the day surrounded by close friends, doing things to keep her mind off of her sadness. I did talk to her today and she seemed in good spirits. I just couldn't help but think that it wasn't a call to say "Happy Anniversary" but rather to check in on her and see that she was okay. I can't imagine the emotions she goes through on a daily basis. I know I find myself feeling just as lost and sad some days as I did the day Dad died. It's such a raw feeling that feels like it will never get better.

*Sigh*

I'm sure Dad watches over us and knows we are wishing he was here just so we could say "Happy Anniversary" again.

Love you Dad.....

Hellooooo Baby!

I had another ultrasound done on the 13th. I ended up going to the appointment alone because Lou wasn't home.....but it's all good. What they found is that Hannah is laying breech right now. The doctor said not to worry too much as she still has 6 weeks to flip over. Stubborn already and she hasn't even been born yet! Ha! Anyway, so far so good. She's 4 pounds and 13 ounces and I was able to count all of her toes....plus she has a full head of hair! Woohoo! The doc says he doens't think she'll reach 8 pounds by birth, which to me is quite okay.

If she decides to stay in this breech position I will be scheduled for a c-section. I have another 3 weesk before my next ultrasound to find out what the next move will be. I do have an appointment for a check up on the 26th though so we'll see what they say then.

So now I know why I've been having pain and pressure galore in my (very) lower abdomen...little darling has made my bladder into a kickboxing bag. Ah well....maybe she'll come out a super soccer star after all!

Date Night and other stuff...

Lou and I went out saturday night to the movies. We stopped for dinner first and then went to see Fred Claus. Lou and I are both fans of Vince Vaughn. He has yet again made quite a funny movie. While his charactors are not much different form each other, he always gives a good laugh. Cute movie!

In other news, we have a "Parenting Prep" class tomorrow night at the hospital. It's only a little over an hour long so we'll see what kind of info they can give us to really help prepare us for child care. Thursday I have my next doctor appointment. I'm supposed to have an ultrasound. I'm pretty excited for that. Hannah is moving around a lot and kicking the crap out of my lower abdomen. Makes walking up even slight inclines pretty difficult.

The new air chamber for my side of the bed just came! Woohoo!! Now more waking up in a crater anymore! Yippee!!

Ack! White stuff everywhere!

We've been hit with several snow storms in the last few days. I think we have roughly 6 inches out there now. This is a bit early for our area and a lot of snow at one time for us. The dogs are having a blast playing in it and the horses seem pleased to be freed of swatting flies. I don't mind it too much.....yet....just because it hasn't been super cold and I've started "running" warmer than I used to. The girl who loved to pile on tons of blankets at bedtime can hardly stand a sheet!
Lou and I were walking back form the barn tonight when he grabbed a handful of snow and packed a perfect snowball for the dogs to chase after. Then he mentioned that he thought it seemed like perfect snow to make a snowman. So we made one! I can't remember the last time I made a snowman. Imagine, me, 8 months preggers and him.....a "big kid" out there making a snowman in the dark. We had a ball. He even went back to the barn for a carrot to top off the face of our snow charactor. The dogs didn't know what to think of it but still got a kick out of trying to find the ball we threw for them.
It was a good time.
I think tomorrow night we are going on a date....dinner and a movie and then to a friend's house to visit. Can't wait!

You can't just have one!

One day last week I was at the racetrack when a trainer came up to me and told me he had a horse he wanted to sell. This is the same guy I bought my horse "Blake" from so I figured the horse might be nice and also possibly cheap. Since I'm always on the look out for horses to resell for show, I told him to give me a call after the horse runs and I'd come and take a look. So he told Lou he was ready to sell when he saw him a few days ago. I went to the track yesterday afternoon and ended up buying the horse.

His name is "Private Sword" and he's four years old. Pretty unsuccessful at the track having run only four times and making a whopping $300. I've been trying to think of a barn name for him that has something to do with swords or soldiers.....even did some research on names of swords but nothing seems to fit.

This horse seems like he's going to be pretty nice. He's a bit shy and worried right now but he hasn't had much spoiling from his groom at the track. So hopefully a little kindness will help him relax. He's related to my filly Sealy (which is one of the reasons I bought him) and I hope he'll make someone a nice riding horse.

Anyway, here are some pictures of "the new guy" who needs a name. Suggestions welcome!

The Nursery is finished!

After digging through layer after layer of cardboard, styrofoam and plastic I finally uncovered the pieces to the crib. It took me 45 minutes just to get it unpacked. Once that was finished, assembly wasn't real complicated. I think I have pretty much everything arranged how I like it.....I just need to buy a glider chair and a small end table. I think it would be good to put the table in next to a chair so I can set the bottle warmed on it or whatever I might need to have close during feedings.

Here is the crib complete with all the "fixins"

A closer look:

The dresser/changing table:

The quilt Mom bought:


And the closet door complete with coat hanger:

Now I just have a few bits of clothing and things to put away and all will be finished.
I don't know why but on my screen the walls look pink. They are actually light blue.

Visiting the new Doctor

Lou and I went to see my new OB/GYN yesterday. I hadn't planned to switch doctors AND hospitals this late in my pregnancy but apparently my insurance company is not only a bunch of idiots but they could care less about the people they insure. That's a whole 'nother story though.
The "new guy" is really nice. His name is Dr. Drake. They call him the resident comedian. He's in his early 60's and very down to earth. He didn't rush out of the room after check me over but stayed and answered questions as if he could be there with us all day. No wonder why it took an hour and 15 minutes to even see him. Anyway, he was incredibly friendly and very reassuring. He didn't push any of his own views on me but rather asked me how I wanted things to go. I walked out of there feeling very confident in this doctor and this was our first meeting.
I have my next appointment on december 13th and will be getting an ultrasound so they can take measurements. I'm pretty excited for that one because the last time we got to "see" the baby was nearly 3 months ago!

Time sure flies!

When I started this blog Paul told me it's hard to keep up with it daily. I replied that I am on my computer everyday and would have no problem keeping this updated.....yeah...well.....guess I was wrong!

Anyway here I am updating after a 10 day absence. Sorry 'bout that! So I have lots to tell.
My latests doctor's appointment went well. Everything is normal with Hannah and going according to schedule. Except when it comes to my insurance coverage. The JUST told me that I'm not covered. Hmmmmm.....it's been what, 6 months of appointment and NOW they tell me?? So I called my Insurnace company and apparently my doctor is not in their network. So they give me a list of doctors that are. Go figure......NONE of them deliver at the hospital I wanted to use. It's only two exits away....ARGH!!! The closest is a 40 minute drive. The rest are in PA. I['ve had issues like this pop up in the past as well. Don't get me wrong, the company does pay for just about everything. But the fact that I can't choose a doctor who is somewhat convenient to home is just rediculous. So I've already faxed in my appeal and am hoping that they pay for my visits up to date. The bill just came in the mail a few days ago....GULP! $1300!!!
It would have been nice to know all this after the first visit. I would think in the month of time inbetween my visits they could have figured this out.
So I finally found a new doctor who is in Salem (about 40 minutes away) and is definitely on my plan. New doctor, new hospital and I'm at 30 weeks. That stinks!

In other news Mom came up with my Aunt Dukie this past weekend to attend my baby shower. A few other friends drove a good distance and the rest were local friends. The food was great and everyone seemed to have a nice time. The gifts were fantastic and will all be so well used.
This past tuesday Mom, Sharon and I went shopping to order the crib and changing table. We hit a few other discounted shops and picked up tons of clothes. I also had a few gift cards so I also brought hom a high chair, bouncer and soft body carrier. All in all my nursery is cramped and there isn't even any furniture in it! I'm anxious to get it all finished.

Let's see.....we had several wins in racing. One retirement from an injury and many more races coming up in the next week. It's been unusally warm here and as Hannah grows the warm temps combined with her athletics in there have rendered me quite out of breath on numberous occasions. But it's all good. We have somewhere between 6-10 weeks to go if she wants to be early on even on time. Hopefully she won't decide to be shy and be late!

I guess that's all for now!

Me and My Gang!

Saturday night some of my "girls" had this great get together in my honor. It was a small "baby shower/girls night in/sleep over/college reunion" thing and we had a blast! Leann hosted it at her house. She and Theresa decorated in all types of cute baby accesories. They cooked and brought home an ice cream cake, yummy! Carie couldn't come because she was sick. Mandi came and so did Jen "Kapina." The biggest supprise was that Gina showed up. She drove for the overnighter from NJ! Some of these girls I had not seen in over a year. It was really a great night of laughs. The next morning Jen had her hubby come ovewith her two girls. Leann and Mandi made a huge breakfast and we did some crafts before leaving. I had a lot of fun (and little sleep...lol) and hope to get some pictures up from that afternoon. Thanks again ladies!

Taking a step backwards...

I put the baby before the wedding! Shame on me! ha!

I wanted to share some pictures from my wedding back on 9/9/06. It was all quite the dream for me. Everything went according to plan (except the weather) and we had some great laughs to remember. People told me to take it all in because afterwards I would forget all the details. For me, that could not be farther from the truth. I remember how I felt like a star getting ready and having my hair and make up done. I remember feeling nervous and sick before "suiting up." I remember having all the pictures taken before the wedding and feeling like I could burst into tears sitting in the limo. I remember my bridesmaids locking the preacher out of the limo once we were there so she wouldn't make me cry. I remember the groomsman chugging beers right before the cerimony started. I remember holding my dad's arm and him looking at me and saying, "This is it, are you ready?"...."Yes I think so...." he replied, "You look beautiful....."

I remember smiling so hard my cheels hurt to the point I could barely smile anymore.

I remember the look on Lou's face as we approached the alter. I remember the wind nearly knocking over our arch and having to hurry through the cerimony before we were rained on.

I remember pretty much everything. I thank goodness for it too. It is the last memory I have of my Dad where he was utterly the most happy man I've ever seen him to be. The very first time I've ever seen him cry and the time when he said he could stay on the dance floor with me forever eventhough my father-daughter song skipped so much we had to cut it off.

I remember it being one of the most happy times of my life and also the saddest. As Dad told us the next day about his cancer coming back. I'll never, ever forget these things. They've been engrained into my head and I hope to cherish the good parts and look back at even the bad parts for as long as I am able. I think things happen for a reason and I think the reason my wedding was so perfect (in my eyes) is because it was the last REAL thing I got to share with my entire family as a whole. Ack...enough of that....I'm sitting here crying again. Now, how about some pictures?

The picture above is right before the rehearsal. It's the last picture I have of my family together.

Above: The girls!

Gramma and me!

First shot of Mr. and Mrs. Ruberto!

A Baby on the way.....

....and her name is Hannah Elizabeth. Hannah happened to be second on my list of favorite names. Imagine my suprise when Dad told me it was his favorite name as well. Good thing Lou liked it too! So I'm due on January 29th and feel like I couldn't possibly grow any bigger. I'm barely fitting into most of my maternity clothes now. I remember telling my fmaily two months ago that I couldn't figure out how some people packed on so much weight when they were pregnant. I had no appetite and at five months had only put on 5 pounds. Well didn't I just junx myself?!?!?! I'm huge and uncomfortable already and I still have a while to go yet. Today is 28 weeks. The baby has been kicking up a storm. Usually she give me several boots to the bladder throughout the day. How kind of her! I like to feel the movment at night when I'm relaxing on the couch....but during the day it's nothing but uncomfortable. She seems to turn and move around alot when I'm walking which makes it tough to walk at all. I'm finding that I get short of breath a lot lately too. So much for bending down to wrap up horsey legs or put on horsey boots. My father-in-law says "welcome to my world....I couldn't do it when I was real fat so I'm working on losing weight now...." I know he feels sympathetic but my in-laws love to get a shot in now and then.

My next appointment with the doctor is on the 13th of this month. I'm not sure what this visit will entail. I'm hoping for an ultrasound. Haven't had one since they sexed the baby at 5 months.

So the room is painted and the boarder is up....thank you to my girls for the help! Her name is hanging on the wall and the closet has a new organizer in it. The carpets were cleaned yesterday. Now it's time to fill the room with furniture. *sigh* More $$$ !!

My shower is this month on the 17th. I'm looking forward to seeing all my friends fomr out of town and other family members. They are going to be supprised to see little Jen being rather large!

Ahhhh......whoever said preganacy is beautiful was lying through their teeth! I know it will be so very worth it in the end but my goodness!

Okay, one more set of Intros!

I think this wraps up my lists of critters.

I have two dogs and a cat in addition to my horses. Jazz is the first dog I've owned that was not the family dog. I adopted her from the Cleveland Animal Protective League back in 1998. She was only 3 months old and looked like a little german shephard/chow mix with a black mask. As she grew up and lost her puppy coat she started looking like a miniture Gold Retriever. Jazz has been my constant companion. Moving from place to place and traveling everywhere with me when I go out of town. Because of this she's probably the most loyal dog I've ever known.

I taught her lots of tricks when she was a pup because I lived and worked on a farm so I had lots of time to spend with her. I also worked in a small animal vet's office so all her annuals and surgeries were easier to handle as well. I even assisted when she was spayed. Jazz is my baby and will be so hard to replace when she passes. Hopefully she'll live a long and healthy life because I can't imagine not having her around.

Next is Boones. He's my four year old house kitty. I brought home Boones when he was only 5 weeks old. He's been fun to have around yet somewhat annoying when he demands to be fed at 5am! He's been on diet food since he was a year old and for some reason just keeps getting fatter. He's quiet the lover and will purr and sit on your lap all day....or on your folded clothes that haven't been put away quickly enough!Here's one of my favorite shots of him when he was a little kitty.

And a more grown up Boones....

Lastly is our newest addition, Jorja. She's a registered German Shephard that we adopted form a pound in South Carolina. She's a little over a year old and still very much a puppy. And 85 pound puppy that is!

Jorja has been a challenge because her previous owners didn't teach her ANYTHING. She didn't even know her name (and she came with it!). We spent many hours teaching this dog to come when called or not to jump on her humans. She's really a sweet dog she just has so much energy that she doesn't know what to do with it. So she spends most of the day at my in-law's house playing with their dog. Then she's home in the evening and much more subdued. Hubby loves her because she's silly and playful and she'll scare the panties off of any door to door salesman that knocks! We learned she is extremely protective in the house but listens well when we tell her to cool her jets or if she knows whoever is coming in.

An Introduction.....Blake

I bought a four year old chestnut gelding about six weeks ago from a trainer at the track. I had planned on reselling him eventually because he was young, tall and had no previous injuries. Plans changed after I got to know Blake and found that he's extremely gentle, sweet and very quiet to ride. My mother-in-law rode him for me about two weeks after buying him. He was so good for her. He didn't do anything stupid, could care less about his surrounding and even jumped some stuff we had out back. He's never been taught to jump but he did it like a pro. When I bought him he was thin and in desparate need of a dental visit. He had nasty cuts and open sores in his mouth from eating with wicked sharp teeth. He's even bitten off two small pieces of his tongue. The insides of his lips were chapped and raw (dentist says this was probably from eating weedy hay) and the corners of his mouth were scarred pretty badly.

Blake has taken everything we've done to him like it is no big deal. He's had two sessons of acupunture (slept through both) and has had numberous chiropractic adjustments to try and fix whatever is going on in his neck. He has a nervous "tick" where he tosses his head. He's also very stiff laterally through his neck. So I've also been doing stretching exercises with him daily. Poor guy. I don't know how he could have been left in that kind of condition being such a sweetheart. I'm hoping that once our baby is here and I start riding again, that Blake and I will be good riding partners. I would like to take up eventing again and since he's such a natural over jumps all that we need to see is if he decides he's going to like being an eventer.

Here is Blake when I went to visit him before buying:

This is Blake after he came home with me. He had a day of beauty: This is a month later after being on good pasture 24/7 and lots of healthy feed:
Here he is in his first and only ride (so far) off the track:



And here he is playing in the round pen:
Blake was not a good racehorse, winning only one race....but I like my riding horses like that. It usually means they take to a new career in better fashion!

An Introduction.....Sealy

Sealy is my beautiful, sweet 3 year old thoroughbred filly. I owned her mother and had her bred to a friend's stallion on a barter. I had done some sales for the lady in the past and she owned me for my commissions. So I ended up with baby Sealy. It was a long wait (11 months for horses!) but was well worth it. I spent only 3 cold nights in the barn on foal watch and then Addie (Sealy's mom) so kindly foaled in the middle of the afternoon on April 28th 2004 at 2pm. She was born outside on the lawn for all of us to see (and help). Sealy didn't really want to come out so the Lou's had to pull her out.

Welcome to the world little baby!

I stood there stunned as I watch my beloved mare have this *ugly* little chestnut filly. And yes, I thought she was a bit ugly for the first day or so. When foals are born their heads are shaped a little odd for birthing purposes and they don't get that "awwwwww....." factor right away.

I snapped tons of pictures that day and just sat with her in the stall. She was very curious and friendly. I was determined to make her nicer and more people oriented than her mother so I had my hands all over her from day one.

Sealy learned quickly that humans were pretty cool and she really, really loved to be rubbed and scratched. As she got bigger she became even more independant. I would take her for walks in the pasture and pick her feet up, lead her everywhere. As long as Momma was in the same area, Sealy was cool with it.

She did accidently slide into the fence when she was a few months old and got herself some pretty stitches in her neck. I should have known that this was going to be the first of many vet visits in her future. She is her mother's daughter. Addie was pretty well known by our vet as well.

Eventually Sealy was weaned from her mother and had to learn to be a big girl. She had a rough time at first because I boarded her somewhere else. She beat herself up in the stall but mended well and finally got over it. She had her pictures taken at 6 months and was officially registered with The Jockey Club as "Simply Sealy." She won't ever race but those papers do mean a lot.

Sealy is now a late three year old. She's been broke to saddle and had 60 days on her back. Then she was sick with a cold for about three weeks and then I became pregnant. So Sealy has been on vacation since the end of April. What a wake up call it will be for her in the springtime when we start REAL work!

Here are some pictures from Sealy's very first ride. I did all the work myself and am pretty darned proud of that. When she went to a friend's house for some riding time they always commented on how well she's been started. She made me proud! I can't wait to start riding her again!

These are pictures from last April when Sealy was boarded at a friend's for some education under saddle. I had two surgeries on my hand and really wanted her training to continue so I sent her there.

I may be a little biased but I couldn't love this filly more. I hope she turns out to be a super star eventer when she's a little older. We shall see!

An introduction...Wyatt

I thought I would share pictures and info on my four legged children. As most of my friends and fmaily know, I'm a thoroughbred nut. Especially thoroughbreds from the racetrack. I've made it my second "career" to find nice horses retiring from racing and reselling them to show homes. I've done my best to help rehome horses that are injured or have old injuries and keep them off the meat man's truck headed for slaughter. So in doing that I've built some really good working relationships with trainers as well as with buyers. I've also been fortunate enough to get my hands on some nice horses for myself in the past.

So currently I own three horses. All are thoroughbreds. Two have raced in their past lives and one did not.

First is Wyatt. His racing name was "Lord Hansel." Wyatt is a 1995 model gelding who stands at 16 hands tall. I bought Wyatt off the internet. He came form GA but actually spent his racing days in OH. Traveling between River Downs and Thistledown as well as Mountaineer. He was a dud on the track. Unlike his sire Hansel. Wyatt was sold for $70k as a yearling but made just over $13k racing. He somehow ended up in GA with a young girl who attemped to train him herself. She pretty much fried his little brain and didn't not keep up woth regular joint maintanence and dental care that he really needed. He was the most ptiful thing I'd laid my eyes on when he first arrived here. Thepictures they sent me of him are here:

Everything they told me about him was a lie. From what he'd been doing to what he was capable of. I later tracked down the woman who gave the kid lessons. She sugar coated everything and made it seem like she was so happy that Wyatt (formally named Whiskey) had a good home. Later on when I asked if she could put me in contact with the kid (I bought him through a 3rd party) this trainer flipped out and told me that Wyatt was nuts and made the kid cry everyday. That he was labeled "crazy" and everyone around her area knew him as such. Hmmmmm.....interesting.

So this is what walked off the trailer the night he arrived:

He was underweight, wormy, dehydrated and weak. His coat was orange from sunbleaching but it was also thick and wirey form malnutrition. He had a horrible crack in his foot and enough sole that it had been at least a year since anyone had trimmed him. I had the dentist out right away for him. He said it was the worst mouth he'd ever seen. He'd only been eating on one side of his mouth because his teeth were so sharp he had gashes and sores up and down the insides of his cheeks. He was supprised the horse could even grazt because his incisors were at such a slant from uneven wear that they didn't touch each other.

It took nearly 6 months to get him to a healthy weight and nearly a year to gain his trust under saddle. I also found out through mutiple vet visits and x-rays that his hocks were a complete mess and littered with arthritis. No wonder his previous owner had trouble with him. I don't think I'd want to treat her too well either if I were him.

So here is Wyatt today:

He's what I like to call an "Air Fern" because he's so fat he looks pregnant and all he gets to eat right now is lush grass and clean water. Wow, who would have ever thought of that?

Wyatt is hanging out at a friend's house in MD right now. She's giving him a try for herself. If he's a good boy he'll be owned by such a great rider and have many more oppotunities to strut his stuff than he ever did here with me.